the-lonely-scottish-guy: ‘stop being overdramatic’ they say ‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
laugh-addict: Have you ever noticed how horrifying those smiley french fries are in groups? they’re like you’re burning us alive our insides are melting hELP US
Always remember that you are not worthless, organs are extremely expensive on the black market.
bceky: have you ever tried going down the stairs on all fours don’t
teap0ts: is nobody gonna talk about netflix’s knockoff movies because i am like i dont know about you guys but i lost my shit at CHOP KICK PANDA like they couldnt have done KARATE CHOP PANDA or DROP KICK PANDA??? no they went with CHOP KICK CHOP KICK
PE Teacher: why are you running so slowly
Me: It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you do not stop - Wisdom of Confucius
Friend 1: What's the capital of Ohio
Friend 2: gozaimasu
kylesbogusjourney: activatewindows: kylesbogusjourney: WHAT IF MY COLORS ARE DIFFERENT THAN YOUR COLORS They are, because people having varying numbers of Rods and cones in their eyes, it causes people to see colours differently. Also there is a theory that everyone sees, for example, the colour red differently eg Red=yellow, but because we’ve been taught that, that specific colour is...
worldfamousprofessor: spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious” contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition? moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”
me and this girl were having a conversation about...
me: i adore british men
girl: oMG ME TOO!!!1! like who tho
me: david tennant, tom hiddleston, benedict cumberbatch-
girl: uh who are those
me: -shows pics-
girl: but... they're old... and not even that handsome
(10 mins later)
police officer: so can you tell me what happened?
me: she ran into my knife.
me: she ran into my knife ten times.
undercover-witch: microcroft: urban legends (◠‿◠✿) scary stories (◕ω◕✿) creepy things (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ✧ paranormal and supernatural things ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* \(◕ヮ◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ hearing a noise in the middle of the night *: ･ﾟ✧ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ
skin-and-ink: flure: I hate that feeling when you randomly feel depressed. There is no warning, no apparent reason. It just happens. You feel empty, and you feel hopeless. And you just feel tired. As if you never want to move again. Then when someone asks you what’s wrong, you can’t say because there is nothing that comes to mind. Then you start thinking of what it could be, and you realize...
misterjetstream: V I D E O G A M E S THO GOD I LOVE VIDEO GAMES SO MUCH UGH JUST VIDEO GAMES NOTHING HAS DEFINED MY LIFE SO SOLIDLY AS VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES !!!!!
Americans: YOU CAN'T SAY SWEAR WORDS ON TELEVISION OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
meanwhile in Norway: welcome to the fucking news
meanwhile in the UK: dick dick balls sex gay tea GAAAAYY I'm taking off my pants on live tv this is family tv!!!
ironelk: Today my art history professor gave some words of wisdom: Nude is when your clothes are off. Naked is when your clothes are off and you’re up to something